Yup. This basically sums it up.

where did it go?

time is a slippery fiend, isn’t it?

i’m feeling all sorts of emotions right now, and it’s pretty difficult to get anything done with them toiling around. it’s hard to just drop and set aside everything else that’s going on to do a reading assignment, grade some papers, school work in general. it’s even harder when the lack of support is there. why do i even bother with that? why do i bother with affirmation knowing that i won’t get much of it? why am i so concerned with everyone else’s approval that i’m letting it affect with my goals?

worst part? it’s hard to be appreciative of what i have. i know better, i do. and if i didn’t have what i do have right now, would i react even more negatively? would i just settle for what everyone else wants vs. what i want?

time, support, motivation. please come back soon. i kind of need you.

marcus aurelius at the musei capitolini. taken c. 2008

grading for the first time (college edition)

my foto essay – firenze, c. 2008

it’s days like these that i miss traveling around. the river looks really brown because it had rained a lot before we got there.

i finished my first stack of grading as a TA, and how do i feel? relieved. i think i graded a bit too harsh, but as long as i included good feedback, i guess? it was just an eye opener for sure.

things to do before turning in your assignment:

• if you’re turning in written work, write on college ruled paper – not wide ruled
• write in complete sentences
• answer the question
• follow the assignment, follow directions
• support your argument

it was interesting to see how much the above mentioned didn’t happen.

trying to be grateful

 

the interior of la sagrada familia – barcelona, c. 2008. beautiful piece of work by senor gaudi. the best part of this is that it’s not even finished and the project is still ongoing. it’s been worked on for over a century now.

so yeah, to have been there to see it during its construction is actually quite amazing. i know a lot of people would love to see it unfinished, but i think you have to marvel at the fact that you can experience it during its construction. see how it develops.

every detail – no wonder it’s taking so long

sure, i didn’t get to see the finished product, but i’m grateful that i even got to see it. 

why can’t i apply that attitude to every day life? the catechists at my parish went on a retreat this past saturday, and i came out feeling refreshed and anew. i kept thinking to myself: I WILL NOT TAKE GOD FOR GRANTED! I WILL BE APPRECIATIVE AND DEPEND ON HIM! HE CARRIES MY YOKE, TOO! i was going to write a post about how inspired i felt! now? i let that feeling fade, and today, i got upset over a cartoon picture version of me that a friend put together because she meant well. why did i get upset? because i thought she made me look like a boy child while she made every one else look so nice. let me repeat: I – GOT – UPSET – OVER – A – CARTOON – VERSION – OF – ME. i just didn’t think it looked anything like me, and i just thought she was intentionally hurting my feelings. she apologized, and i let it hang. i know my self-esteem isn’t the best in the world, and i know it gets the better of me sometimes, but i could’ve said it was okay.

i’m a horrible person.

enjoy the pretty pictures from not so pretty of a person.

what i’m studying.

another view of the foro romano. c. 2008.

starting next semester i will be considered a candidate for the Linguistics PhD program. what does that mean? i’ll be spending the next 4-5 years (depending how quickly or slowly i finish my dissertation) observing and analyzing different linguistic phenomena. i’ve already been studying linguistics since 2012, but that was when i was pursuing an MA instead of the PhD. this time, instead of graduating with the MA, i’m hoping to finish and get out with a PhD. i never noticed how much it bothered me that so few people understand what i mean when i say “linguistics”, until now.

small talk seems to always include the question of: so what do you do? what are you studying exactly? and i cannot even tell you how many people give me blank stares when i tell them linguistics. once i explain what it is, even fewer seem interested in what it is. i always explain that linguistics is the study of languages. that we, as linguists, break down languages, examine, and analyze them. i’m almost soon prompted by “soo don’t you have to know a lot of languages? how many do you even know?!?” it’s not about how many languages i know, it’s about what exactly i’m looking at in regards to a language. i don’t have to even know the language! i’ve explained it as code breaking to people, and they still don’t understand sometimes. it’s all too depressing. and for those that don’t find it interesting, that’s fine; that’s your opinion. Just do me a favor and please do not bring me down. if you don’t understand, just ask. i’ll be more than happy to explain to you.

another good one is: “you’re choosing to study linguistics bc it’s easy.” no, it’s actually not easy. it’s very tedious and detail oriented work. so give us a little credit, would you?

Semester – done.

-edit-

Pompeii, c. 2008

This is going to be a work in progress because I’m too lazy to make my way to my laptop at this time. I’ll have a lovely photo up soon. (Currently using the handy WordPress app)

THE SEMESTER HAS ENDED! yes! I am not too sure how I finished the semester, but I do know that I wrote three papers in a span of a week. Am i proud? Yes, more than I should be at least. Procrastination success is what I call it! Just glad I get a nice break before freaking out about being a doctoral student. Next semester I will be a PhD candidate. Holy crappola. Did I ever see myself here? No, sure didn’t! So scary and exciting all at the same time!

I’ve started watching Merlin on Netflix since I ran out of things to watch that piqued my interest, and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT! Especially if you love the Arthurian stories =] it’s a good twist!

Alright, here is a good stop. I’ll be back!

-edit-

a good friend’s wedding this week, and this lucky gal gets to be in the bridal party. i have to be up at 4am on Saturday in order to get ready and start the preparations for the super busy day. I typically sleep at 4am so this might be a problem for me. What i’ve decided to do is stay up pretty late tonight and then wake up early for work tomorrow, help set up after work, and by the time i get home i’ll be so exhausted that i’ll just fall straight to sleep. sounds like a solid plan, right? i’m hoping for the best!

and of course i finished the semester strong. forgot to add that in. ;]

another doctor’s visit

good ‘ol emperor constantine – the one who converted to christianity AND stopped the persecution of christians. foto taken in roma, capitoline museum, c. 2008

i was recently diagnosed with erythema multiforme. apparently a number of reasons could result in what wikipedia calls an uncommon skin condition, but my awesome doctor friend has informed me that the antibiotics i was taking for a my sinusitis was most likely what triggered this weird reaction in my body. i was itching and feeling all funky since saturday. might i mention i was quite red, bumpy, and just gross? and may i mention the weird blobs and blanched centers? i looked it up and sure enough the pictures matched what my skin looked like.

on a side note – and much happier:
I AM FUNDED! tuition will be covered during my time as a doctoral candidate! YAY!! WHOOOHOO!!! go me!

must stick to lent promise better.

Nap time

constantine’s finger, roma c. 2008, located at the musei capitol

There comes a time in most university students’ lives when sleeping is so incredibly scarce and valuable. My five minute power naps are my treasure! Sweet dreams, world!

first doctor’s visit in YEARS (not sure how many exactly)

after doing a little research I figured out which arch this is – it is the arch of septimus severus, located in the foro romano. c. 2008 (forgive me, it’s been awhile)

i had my first doctor’s visit in a super really long time, and how was it? the wait sucked. the waiting and the exam rooms were probably due for a good disinfecting. i mean who doesn’t take appointments? BUT it was a good visit! the members of my household used to all go see another doctor, who we considered the FAMILY DOCTOR, but as time went on we realized he was not a good wine. the doctor was just plain vinegar (blech). this doctor though? corny jokes? check! similar sense of humor? check! informative, but not condescending? check! glad i went to the doctor.

the symptoms started popping up, all while i was in the ling lab, and i freaked a little. i tried my best to stay hydrated – taking dayquil – sort of going to bed early – etc. the next day i came to the horrible realization that I WAS SICK. i hoped a whole day of rest would do me good. by 7 pm i gave up. the boyfriend, because he’s the most awesome boyfriend ever, took me to the clinic and much to our dismay, they didn’t accept my insurance. we picked up some chickie, and headed back to the casa. with the massive sinus headache i had, i looked through the list of doctors that would take my insurance; i found our usual “family” doctor in my “network” list, and i was close to just settling for him. the boyfriend consulted that i should rest and figure out how i felt the next day…needless to say, i slept through a cough-ful night.

today, i decided that the doctor was probably the best person to go see. the cough made my throat feel all funky and the congestion was no friend either. going with my decision, i looked through the “in your network” list again. again, i saw our not-so- “family” doctor again, and i felt myself caving – I JUST WANTED TO FEEL BETTER!!!!!!!!!! i was told to STAY STRONG by my sister, who was also not a fan of said family doctor, and told me to KEEP GOING!!! i found a clinic close to the house, and called to set up an appointment. “we’re a walk-in” clinic. chicka-wah? alright, fine. i’m desperate anyway. and the rest, history! luckily it’s not the flu or a cold. it’s a case of sinusitis. =[ not contagious, but can make someone depressed. 

yes, this puts off essay writing, but i really don’t want to be sick anymore.

was this post necessary? to answer that question is another: is any post necessary?

good morning

firenze (florence), c. 2008. I don’t remember the name of this location, but i just remember thinking “wow, this is so neat”

i had seen movies that filmed in firenze and set the bar pretty high in terms of expectations; i’d fallen in love with the city before ever being there. needless to say, the city not only met my expectations but surpassed them by THIS MUCH (arms wide open). why did i find it so appealing? it wasn’t too big, it was easy enough to walk, no need for a train/bus, had all of the aesthetics, housed numerous masterpieces – i mean what more could a person ask for? the architecture – outstanding, the food – yummy of course. art – check! it was pretty much around tuscany so any town outside of it was just beautiful. the fashionable walked amongst the historic buildings, creating this contradiction that just  made sense. and best of all? medici. 

and on a side note – i got into the linguistics phd program! YES! intimidated? yes. insecure? yup. freaking out about the commitment and time i’ll be spending as a professional-student? you betcha! just have to keep reminding myself that God has great plans for each of us, and my mission is to fulfill that plan! 

good night!